Oh well, back to blogging.
Reminiscing my past, decided to venture back, into memory lane.

Oh the glitter, the laughter, the jubilant hullabaloo & antics.
I miss them ever so much.
Why didn't I treasure my secondary school friends?
And apparently now, I'm doing the same, to my AC friends.

It's just me and my, egoistic mentality.
Somehow or rather, I'll always find ACSians superficial.
Why?
I can never stop asking why?

I know I'm being totally full of myself, its so obvious, that it's literally radiating from me.
Pessimistic thoughts constantly wreck my mind.
Can't do well in anything... Swim, Lifeguards, Studies.
Losing friends (Losing touch / Keeping in-touch. heh!, same thing)

I thought I completely managed to forget you (Yes you, the one I got the teddy bear for from Southampton, United Kingdom) PS: I totally regret giving it to you. It was meant for someone I could love, someone I thought I could count on (The breaking up part was partially my fault though)
Before I gave it to you, I had a hard time deciding who to give it to. Glistening, deep, obsidian black eyes. Soft, amber fur. And, a heart, a really really big heart.
For the girl I had a crush on for 3years, or for the guy who made my first 2months of ACJC really special...

Oh well. Now I'm single again (Totally deserve it). My crushes, I personally know (it's a gut feeling) won't turn into reality.

Regarding Academics...
Why did I get 7 points for O Level? Why?
I'm really undeserving of it. I'm not, putting in my best effort to study.
argh.... everything is really, really distracting...

My mind is in such a whirl right now... Thoughts (Pain, Regret, Horny stuff)...

I promised myself I give it my all. But now, I know, that is going to eventually, be broken.

Labels: Bleeding soul. Crying Heart, Stressed Out

Well,at least did not inherit smile from parents. CREEPY!! Brother also abit..

Brother look weird eating subway. Me drinking Pierre sparkling water. William smiling.

Brother appears to be kissing the sandwich instead of biting. William still smiling.

Labels: Belgium Visit, Bleeding soul. Crying Heart

Relinked all da peoplez who changed url.
Wondering why they can't stick to one...hmmm
Also wondering whether i emo or not???
Dropped asleep at home once i reached home.
Was super tired and super Fcked up with the ppl and things that pissed me off today.

~~~List of IRRITATING EVENTS~~~
1. Woke up at 2am / 4am and 5am to find my father snoring in my bed room.
2. Exhausted from lack of sleep and reluctant to go to school ( band also )
3. Planned to skip band to go back to PPS ( but I did not )
4. Did SC duties ( Not Seah Cheng duties,School Counsellor duties )
5. Took 2 teacher's day presents instead of one. Went to give to 2 teachers.
6. Watched teachers and students telematch. Felt bored.
7. Went up to band room at 11am ( it was open at 12pm)
8. Fell asleep at the staircase ><
9. Dragged myself into band room
10. Stayed with band hoping for earlier dismissal to go back primary sch ( but it did not happen )
11. Walked out of school with Jiyu carrying his wooden cased instrument. was raining.
12. Caught up with Wan Feng,Chin Leng and Jia Yi. PangSeh my friends when taxi came.
13. Wanted to go PPS, driver dunno where,brought me to AVE5 pioneer sec there
14. Stopped to prevent money wastage
15. walked home alone and emo-ly
16. Stopped at the renovating PPS at gekpoh there, look at the place. Did deep thinking of my past actions. Felt more upset, hurt and guilty
17. Drag feet home cos i promised my pri sch teachers I could make it there
18. Reached home, received SMS from Jeremiah. Security Guard just shutted everyone out.
19. Felt very overburdened. Blamed band for everything.... haiz...
20. Stepped home. Looked at the scenery from my balcony, went to room,drop on floor to sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Very pitiful day indeed....
Haiz.
Also made alot of my friends scared about me cos of my mood swings.
I'm going abit crazy. Kept talking bout death and all that.
Jia Yi most scared. Den i say blood she say shuddup lar.
I talked bout death and how useless is life with her in MSN ytd.
She told me how BEAUTIFUL life was.
I told her how UGLY AND DARK life was.
Haiz.

Labels: Bleeding soul. Crying Heart

Had band today,so planned to go back to PPS later.
So reluctant to stay in band,i constantly looked at the clock in the bandroom.
Pang Seh my friends at the westwood secondary school traffic light to take taxi to PPS.
I MET UP WITH AN IDIOTIC TAXI DRIVER.
HE DUN EVEN NOE HIS WAY TO PPS....
I gave more specific directions like the Old Jurong West Primary
BUT I ENDED UP AT PIONEER SECONDARY.
I told him to drop me off there in the end,to prevent lost of money.
I was about to take bus to PPS.
Friends called me, security guard just closed the school to visitors.
WTH
I BLAME BAND FOR EVERYTHING!!!!
BAND WAS THE ONLY CCA ON THAT DAY.
EVERYONE ELSE HAD TIME TO VISIT.
ONLY I DON'T
I NEVER SEE MY TEACHER FOR 1.5YEARs
I HATE THE BAND, HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT!!!!!!!!
i feel very sad...

Labels: Bleeding soul. Crying Heart

Thoughts of death flood my mind
As darkness seeps through my blood.
The life I lived through was blind
Clever as me to see it was a lie

Weeping sorrows as I walked
Hearing Xiao Ming follow me
Turned my body with a deadman's actions
Asked the ghost why follow thee?

The ghost replied in a ghostly wail
I had no friends, I had no one
Death is falling upon you
And a friend I shall become one.

I knodded my head and followed him.
To the band room i saw my fate.
To stay with my instrument
And die with hate.

Love is nothing.
Love is blind.
Love is just a thorn,
in someone's hind.

As a ghost he thought.
A friend I would soon have ( pronounced as haff )
Dropped a hammer and it would be done
As Kenneth died with an evil laugh ( pronounced as laff )

Labels: Bleeding soul. Crying Heart

I think i'm finally in a stage of acceptance after the stage of denial that i'm EMO.
written sum very emo stuff on the back of my foolscap paper backboard xD
And i'm starting to agree that people deny what they are.
Like the chinese drama : THE DEFINING MOMENT
Wo bu shi feng
(i'm not crazy in chinese)
when he is really crazy.

I'M NOT EMO!!
(when i really am)

Getting very upset over band.
I had a teacher's day party planned out on friday but I HAVE BAND!!!!
SHIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEET

Then i cannot even go back to SEE MY TEACHER!!!!!!!!!!!!
NEVA SEE FOR MORE THAN 1/5 YEARS!!!!!!

And apparently the band major ( i should'nt give her a name )
said sumthing which i was not supposed to hear ( i heard by accident )
BM : I heard alot of students wanted to go back to pri sch
Tch : Friday have band
BM : I know,so all those who skip band to go back PUNISH THEM!!!

Haiz, it is like westwood controls us to LOVE ONLY OUR SECONDARY SCH TEACHERS
It is like they are jealous of pri sch teachers cos we love them more.
And primary school is less BUDGET than Westwood ( Westwood = SUPER BUDGET SCH )
I wanna throw a rally for Band Members!!!

WHO WANNA GO BACK TO PRIMARY SCHOOL WITHOUT GOING FOR BAND SPAM MY BLOG!!!

xD

Labels: Bleeding soul. Crying Heart

one day i will really go crazy like the fann wong show.
sooo stressed but since this is last week of school who cares?
Got tons of border line A1, so heng, and chinese finally pass hehe.
Cannot wait for sec3.
Today home ec test
teacher told me my food is nutritious.
BUT my spaghetti sauce too sour.
wth? i neva put the lemon or lime,sour???
haiz,den she try my drink she say Healthy, but i dun like avacado =.=
Haiz....

Labels: Bleeding soul. Crying Heart

cLaSs: 2HipSteR.
CLASS: 3 MULTIPLY BY "I".
CLASS: 4 IMBA.
SCHOOL: WESTWOOD SECONDARY.
CLASS: 1SB1'11
SCHOOL: ANGLO-CHINESE JUNIOR COLLEGE

DOB 4th/JAN/1994.

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